unclefather:

wassupstyles:

What if you’re giving a bj in the shower and he just starts shampooing and conditioning your hair 

very polite

10000bc:

fuck i hate when children cry like why cant you just internalize your emotions like the rest of us

have you ever gotten really close to someones face and wanted to kiss them but like you can’t

yeah the tv screen got in the way

hipsterloli:

Here´s a representation of how homophobes think their lives will be affected if marriage equality is achieved

jimbertimber:

coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag

izzetheking:

I wish i could fart in reverse so instead of farting o utwards i fart inwards and suck up debris like rocks and sticks

cherrymilkshake:

transgalacticwanderer:

wiggleofjudas:

saathi1013:

awesomephilia:

Whoever put the ‘b’ in the word ‘subtle’ deserves a pat on the back

And whoever put the ‘s’ in the word ‘lisp’ should be shunned.

^ FACT.

The person who put 3 “t”s in “stutter” is going to get their ass kicked…

What about the spelling of “dyslexia”?

lynzave:

geezjenner:

lynzave:

I’m legitimately amazed at the fact that women can actually grow a person in their uterus without even trying

and then the people CRAWL OUT OF THEIR VAGINA

COVERED IN ECTOPLASM 

AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO KILL IT LIKE THAT’S A COMPLETELY NORMAL OCCURRENCE FOR US

I don’t think the person writing this realizes that they crawled out of a uterus once

I was a C section check your privilege

urbran:

imcallingbullocksonthat:

urbran:

imcallingbullocksonthat:

urbran:

news flash: calling someone ugly doesnt make you any prettier

calling someone stupid doesnt make you any smarter.

adding comments to someone’s post doesnt make you any funnier

 being a dick doesn’t get you more pussy.

yeah, thank god im gay

orgy-of-nerdiness:

petition to not allow straight guys to drive bc if they can’t focus in school when a girl’s shoulders are showing then how can they focus on the road when women are all over billboards and may be walking or jogging in TANK TOPS and SHORT SHORTS
and we let them drive by it all at 20-80mph in vehicles that weigh thousands of pounds?
it’s a public safety hazard really

sleep:

with me

morristibbs:

IF SOMEONE IS SCARED OF SPIDERS OR BUGS DONT FUCKING PICK ONE UP AND WALK TOWARDS THEM WITH IT YOU ARENT FUCKING FUNNY YOU’RE A GODDAMN ASSHOLE